My teenage son is rebellious and withdrawn. How do I handle him?

My teenage son is rebellious and withdrawn. How do I handle him?

by Agencies

Q: I have a 17-year-old son. I need to learn some tips from you  as to how to handle him at this vulnerable age? Kindly help. —Rita

Answered by Seema Hingorrany, clinical Psychologist/Author

Rita, your concern is a concern for many parents. Your son is at an important stage called adolescence, which is a period of upheaval and conflict. You will realise that a child who was once  co-operative and communicative suddenly has become opinionated, withdrawn and rebellious. Many parents often wake up one morning to find themselves totally bewildered about how to handle this 'stranger' who used to be their child. To inculcate right values you just need to take off your 'parental hat' and exchange it for 'friend's hat' and talk to him about your own personal hopes, fears, wishes, values, etc. When we show them our human side, including our flaws and weaknesses, we give them permission to accept themselves, and then they are likely to feel free to share those feelings with us. Showing respect for your teen's feelings and developing a non-judgemental attitude are your best tools. Teenagers with high self-esteem and positivity make more responsible health choices. (Read: New-age parenting: Understand your adolescent better!)

Help your teen to build these characteristics by:

-allowing him or her to voice opinions and to be involved in family decisions.
-listening to his or her opinions and feelings helping him or her set realistic goals.
-showing faith in his or her ability to reach those goals giving unconditional love.

Also, one cannot forget that teenagers may look like adults, but they are not. Their brains are still under development, which causes them to be more impulsive, more spontaneous and developmentally not ready to foresee the consequences of their actions. Knowing this  and knowing that they are not ready for certain levels of responsibility can help you better manage your expectations and your relationship.relationships. 

Content Source: DNA/Seema Hingorrany

Show commentsOpen link