I don’t feel any pleasure during sex. What is my problem?

I don't feel any pleasure during sex. What is my problem?

by Dr Vijayasarathi Ramanathan

I am a 20-year-old woman. I have not asked my doctor about this personally because it is embarrassing: when I have sex, I do not feel any pleasure whatsoever, and sometimes it is even painful. I have done a lot of research on this. And, I don't match any of the symptoms that could cause sex to be painful for women.

Answered by Sexual Health Physician & Medical Sex Therapist Dr Vijayasarathi Ramanthan 

There is no easy and straightforward answer to your question. You need to understand that the main sex organ in the body is not your genitals but the brain. The reason for you to not enjoy sex could be a mental block in the way you think and feel about sex. Sexual pain is something we need to explore the causes of and address it appropriately. You can seek help from well-qualified health professionals (sexologists and sex therapists) who can give you more advice and instructions to overcome your concerns. (Read: Sexual problems in women – they are real!)

Dr Ramanathan completed his undergraduate course in medicine in India before migrating to Australia in 2005. Since then he has acquired three PG qualifications – MMed-SexHlth, GradDip-HlthSc and PhD from the University of Australia, one of the finest and oldest institutions. He has spent over five years (in Australia) researching sexuality and sexual health of Indian men. Since 2009, through his site the SSS Centre for Sexual Health, he has been providing health e-consultations, conducted community-based surveys and built a strong partnership with other sexual health professionals. He has also worked with NGOs and the media to increase awareness about sexual health. He has undergone special training in Health Coaching, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Counselling. His understanding of Indian sexuality has been recognized by his peers and for a textbook titled 'The Cultural Context of Sexual Pleasure and Problems' which was published in 2012, he wrote the chapter on Indian sexuality. He is the current representative of India and Asia Pacific region on the Youth Initiative, World Association for Sexual Health. He can be consulted on his website. 

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Do you like MS Dhoni’s Mohawk hairstyle?

Do you like MS Dhoni's Mohawk hairstyle?

by Nirmalya Dutta

India skipper MS Dhoni sure is a maverick – on and off the field. After sporting long locks and a bald buzz cut, he really pushed the envelope with a new Mohawk hairstyle that has become the rage in his hometown Ranchi. He revealed his new hairstyle when he took off his helmet while wicketkeeping against the Titans at the JSCA International Stadium Complex on Sunday.

The Mohawk is a popular hairstyle that has been sported by the likes of David Beckham, Mario Balotelli and Robert De Niro. Sources said that it was celebrity hair stylist Sapna Bhavnani, who was a contestant in the sixth season of Bigg Boss, who gave the new cut to Dhoni.

The history of the Mohawk

The hairstyle erroneously gets its name from the people of the Mohawk tribe, an indigenous Indian tribe which inhabited an area in upstate New York. Actually, the hairstyle was sported by Pawnee people, another tribe which wore a resemblance similar to the modern Mohawk. In modern times, the look was used by United States soldiers during World War II to appear more intimidating. The hairstyle gained popularity with the punk culture in the 80s and was sported by many as an act of rebellion.

Some other celebrities who rocked a Mohawk:

David Beckham

The recently retired footballer was known as much for his free kicks as he was for the different hairstyles he wore throughout his career. The most talked of these hairstyles was the Mohawk or the Mohican (that's what it's called in Britain). Not surprisingly, the dashing footballer was one of the few people who pulled it off with élan.

Mario Balotelli

The Mohawk is this Italian footballer's signature hairstyle and fits perfectly with his loose cannon, rebellious image.

Neymar

The look is particularly popular with footballers with Brazilian wonder-kid Neymar also sporting the hairstyle for a while.

Robert De Niro

The hairstyle was popularised in the late 70s by De Niro while portraying the psychopathic, anti-social rebel Travis Bickle in the cult classic Taxi Driver. 

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Take years off your face with these 10 tips that actually work

Take years off your face with these 10 tips that actually work
by India.com Health

Don't let your imperfections take centre stage as you age. Developing a healthy and easy beauty routine is the key to ageing gracefully. Here are some simple tips:

Don't be afraid to exfoliate

Removal of dead skin cells can even skin tone, remove pore-clogging dirt and oil, and help prevent adult acne. Use a face scrub to help smooth and refine the skin's texture, giving it a soft, supple look. 

Use a lifter

Skin loses elasticity over time, and begins to sag. Anti-ageing cosmetics contain peptides that help increase firmness and improve elasticity.

Moisturise

As we age, oil-producing glands become less active and so skin tends to become dry. Include an oil-based moisturise in your beauty regime that contains petrolatum as the base along with antioxidants or alpha hydroxy acids to combat wrinkles. (Read: Keep skin hydrated, moisturised)

Prime time

Applying a primer between your skin and make-up helps make-up glide on smoothly, evenly, and stay put. You can even opt for products that have pressed powder and smoothing primers in one if you want to skip an extra step. 

Focus on your eyes

Make your eyes the focal point of your face, as it will detract attention from fine lines and wrinkles. Avoid shimmer and glitter shades, and choose a matte eye shadow that complements your eye colour. (Read: Step-by-step guide to get stunning 'smokey eyes')

Don't forget the under-eyes

If you don't drink plenty of water or get restful sleep, a concealer can help you hide dark circles and bags under your eyes. Try an eye roller to alleviate puffiness. Also use a rich under-eye cream at night.

Avoid darker lipsticks

Stay away from darker lipsticks, which can age anyone. Instead, try rosy reds and pinks. To achieve fuller, luscious lips, use a plumper. (Read: How to get beautiful lips)

Tackle dark spots

Signs of ageing include dark spots, acne scars and sun spots. A dark spot corrector can cover and fight these signs. It is best to use a product that contains Vitamin C. This not only covers dark spots, it decreases their visibility over time.

Don't over-blush

A dash of blush on your cheeks can brighten your complexion, but blend properly. Blush should always be just a pop of colour.

Protect your skin from the sun

Sunscreen is still a very important part of your beauty routine because continuous exposure to the sun causes damage to your skin. Use a broad-spectrum sunscreen with a SPF of at least 15 daily. (Read: How to choose the best sunscreen)

Source: DNA

Image Source: Bollywoodlife.com

For more articles on beauty, check out our Beauty section and for videos, check out our YouTube Channel. 

 

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The mental strain of making do with less

The mental strain of making do with less

by vijigermany

The mental strain of making do with less

Diets don't just reduce weight, they can reduce mental capacity. In other words, dieting can make you dumber.

Understanding why this is the case can illuminate a range of experiences, including something as far removed from voluntary calorie restriction as the ordeal of outright poverty.

Imagine that you are attending a late-afternoon meeting. Someone brings in a plate of cookies and places them on the other side of the conference table. Ten minutes later you realize you've processed only half of what has been said.
Why? Only half of your mind was in the meeting. The other half was with the cookies: "Should I have one? I worked out yesterday. I deserve it. No, I should be good."

That cookie threatened to strain your waistline. It succeeded in straining your mind.

This can happen even with no cookie in sight. Dieters conjure their own cookies: Psychologists find that dieters have spontaneous self-generated cravings at a much higher rate than nondieters. And these cravings are not the dieters' only distraction. Diets force trade-offs: If you eat the cookie, should you skip the appetizer at dinner? But that restaurant looked so good!

Many diets also require constant calculations to determine calorie counts. All this clogs up the brain. Psychologists measure the impact of this clogging on various tasks: logical and spatial reasoning, self-control, problem solving, and absorption and retention of new information. Together these tasks measure "bandwidth," the resource that underlies all higher-order mental activity. Inevitably, dieters do worse than nondieters on all these tasks; they have less bandwidth.

One particularly clever study went further. It tested how dieters and nondieters reacted to eating a chocolate bar. Even though the bar provided calories, eating it widened the bandwidth gap between dieters and nondieters. Nondieters ate and moved on, but dieters started wondering how to make up for the calories they had just ingested or, even more fundamentally, pondered, "Why did I eat the bar?"

In other words, diets do not just strain bandwidth because they leave us hungry. They have psychological, not just physiological, effects.

The basic insight extends well beyond the experience of calorie counting. Something similar happens whenever we make do with less, as when we feel that we have too little time, or too little money. Just as the cookie tugs at the dieter, a looming deadline preoccupies a busy person, and the prospect of a painful rent payment shatters the peace of the poor. Just as dieters constantly track food, the hyper-busy track each minute and the poor track each dollar.

As Professor Eldar Shafir at Princeton University and I argue in our new book, "Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much" (Times Books), a similar psychology of scarcity operates across these examples but with varying degrees of force. If a cookie can tax our mental resources, imagine how much more psychological impact other forms of scarcity can have.

Take the case of poverty. In a paper published last month in Science, with Professors Anandi Mani at the University of Warwick and Jiaying Zhao at the University of British Columbia, Shafir and I waded into politically charged territory. Some people argue that the poor make terrible choices and do so because they are inherently less capable. But our analysis of scarcity suggests a different perspective: perhaps the poor are just as capable as everyone else. Perhaps the problem is not poor people but the mental strain that poverty imposes on anyone who must endure it.

One of our studies focused on Indian sugar cane farmers, who typically feel themselves to be both poor and rich, depending on the season. They are paid once a year at harvest time. When the crop is sold, they are flush with cash. But the money runs out quickly, and by the time the next harvest arrives they are stretched thin: they are, for example, 20 times as likely to pawn an item before harvest as after it. Rather than compare poor and rich farmers, we compare each farmer to himself: when he is rich against when he is poor. This kind of comparison is important because it addresses valid concerns that differences in psychological tests merely reflect differences in culture or test familiarity.

We measured farmers' mental function - on what psychologists call fluid intelligence and executive control - one month before and one month after harvest. And the effects were large: preharvest IQ, for example, was lower by about nine to 10 points, which in a common descriptive classification is the distance between "average" and "superior" intelligence. To put that in perspective, a full night without sleep has a similar effect on IQ.

Bandwidth scarcity has far-reaching consequences, whether we are talking about poor farmers or affluent dieters. We all use bandwidth to make decisions at work, to resist the urge to yell at our children when they annoy us, or even to focus on a conversation during dinner or in a meeting. The diversity of these behaviours - combined with the size of the measurable effects - suggests a very different way to interpret the choices and behaviours of the poor. Just picture how distracting that cookie was, and multiply that experience by a factor of 10.

For dieters, bandwidth scarcity has one particularly important consequence, illustrated in one study that gave people a choice between fruit salad and cake. Before choosing, half of the subjects had their bandwidth taxed: they were asked to remember a seven-digit number. The other half had a mentally less-demanding task: they were asked to remember a two-digit number. Those with less available bandwidth ate more cake: They were 50 per cent more likely to choose cake than the others. There is a paradox here: diets create mental conditions that make it hard to diet. This may sound defeatist. But there are positive lessons for how to manage the different kinds of scarcity.

The U.S. government, laudably, offers financial aid for low-income students to attend college. Qualifying for it, though, requires completing a densely packed 10-page booklet, mentally taxing for anyone. A one-page version would not only be simpler but it would also recognize that the poor are short on bandwidth as well as cash.

The same tactic - economizing on bandwidth - can be used in dieting. Take the Atkins diet, which effectively bans many foods, including bread and a lot of desserts. A ban is less complex than the trade-offs and calorie accounting required by many other diets. While all diets require self-control, Atkins requires less thinking. This might explain its popularity, and even its effectiveness: A recent study shows that people persist longer with diets that require less thought.

The same study had another interesting finding: It was the perceived complexity of a diet - not its actual complexity - that determined persistence.

So keep this in mind the next time you're picking a diet to shed a few pounds. Try one that won't also shed a few IQ points.

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Simple tips to reduce stomach acid

Simple tips to reduce stomach acid

by vijigermany
New Tamil  -  03:07
Simple tips to reduce stomach acid

Stomach acid is very important for digestion but it should not become very high, says a food expert. Avoiding spicy food is the best way to keep it under control.

According to Geeta Sidhu-Robb, raw food pioneer and creator of the Nosh Detox - a diet that helps in removing toxins from the body, one should avoid spicy food that causes such a problem.

She also shares other tips to reduce stomach acid, reports femalefirst.co.uk.

- Eat smaller and lighter meals regularly.

- Avoid eating late in the night, also sleep with your head in a raised position.

- Avoid peppermint tea.

- Losing weight provides a long term solution to stomach acid.

- Medications like aspirin and Ibuprofen make it worse.

- Avoid smoking as this makes the occurrence of acid reflux more likely.

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6 healthy salad dressing recipes for weight loss

6 healthy salad dressing recipes for weight loss

by Naini Setalvad

Salads are healthy! We all know that by now but what most people may not know is that the dressing plays a major role in adding taste and also determining the number of calories in any salad. You may gorge on leafy greens dipped in mayonnaise and cream cheese thinking it is a salad, it has to be healthy and later realise that the same salad packs in more calories than your normal meal. In order to avoid such a scenario, nutritionist Naini Setalvad gives us six low-cal yet tasty salad dressings which will make eating raw, bland veggies more interesting with a healthy twist.

1) LOW-FAT RANCH DRESSING

Good on leafy salads made of sturdy greens like lettuce or spinach.

INGREDIENTS

1 cup buttermilk

¼ cup low-fat paneer

2 to 3 tbsp dried onion flakes

 ¼ to ½ tsp salt

1 tsp lemon juice

 Lots of black pepper

METHOD

Whisk everything together.

Keep in a tightly covered container in the refrigerator and add a few tablespoons of this dressing on your salad.

2) BASIC VINAIGRETTE

Basic dressing for green salads. It stays for weeks.

INGREDIENTS

¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

 4 to 5 tbsp balsamic vinegar

 ½ to 1 tsp salt

 1 to 2 medium clove garlic, minced

METHOD

Combine everything in a jar, cover tightly and shake well.

Sprinkle it on salad when required.

3) VARIATIONS TO BASIC VINAIGRETTE

These are just a few suggestions. You can experiment even further with your own ideas.

Add 3 to 4 tbsp of orange or apple juice or 2 tbsp lemon juice plus a little grated lemon rind.

Also add very finely minced parsley and/or coriander and other herbs (fresh or dried basil, dill, marjoram, chives or thyme).

Substitute some of the olive oil with nut oil.

Substitute different flavours of vinegar (fruit-infused, red or white wine).

Add 1 to 2 tsp good quality mustard.

For creamy vinaigrette, add 2 to 3 tbsp of yoghurt just before you serve.

4) SPICY SALAD DRESSING 

INGREDIENTS

1/3 cup lemon juice

½ tsp dry mustard powder

¼ cup fresh tomato puree (1 tomato in a mixer)

¼ tsp red chilli powder

½ tsp tabasco

¼ tsp salt

½ tsp jaggery (dissolved in hot water)

METHOD      

Combine all ingredients in a jar. Shake well and refrigerate in a tightly covered jar. It stays for 2-3 days.

5) SALSA

The bright red salsa can be tossed in to any vegetable combination.

INGREDIENTS

200g tomatoes

100g green capsicum

1 tsp red chilli powder

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp chilli flakes

2-3 garlic flakes, grated

1 tsp balsamic vinegar

Salt to taste

METHOD

Boil the tomatoes, and peel the skin.

Place 2 boiled tomatoes in a blender. Add red chilli powder, balsamic vinegar and salt to it and blend.

Chop the rest of the tomatoes finely.

Roast the capsicum directly on the flame till they are little blackened.

Scrape off the skin and chop the capsicum finely.

Add the chopped tomatoes and capsicum to the tomato pulp.

Add the oregano, garlic, vinegar and the chilli flakes to the salsa.

Chill it and serve with the quesadillas.

6) THAI SALAD DRESSING

Made entirely with ordinary and familiar supermarket items, this salad with its tart-sweet-spicy dressing is surprisingly exotic. Potatoes need to be cooked in advance. The dressing stays for weeks so make it any time.

INGREDIENTS

6 tbsp good peanut butter

1 cup boiling water

 4 tbsp apple cider vinegar

1 tbsp jaggery or honey

1 to 1½ tsp salt

3 to 4 medium cloves garlic minced

Crushed red pepper to taste

METHOD

Mix all of these together and toss on any vegetable. (Read: Tasty weight loss recipe: Leafy salad)

For more articles on diet check out our Fitness Section and for videos check out our YouTube Channel. 

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Funny - Kutty Kathai

Funny - Kutty Kathai
by Manonmani Nagamani
Girls secret Vs Boys secret - Tamil Facebook SharesYesterday, 23:22

Related Searches : tamil funny kathai , comedy pictures for facebook , tamil comedy photos for socialnet shares, funny love kathai pictures.

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‘Enough’ is the hardest word in relationships

'Enough' is the hardest word in relationships
by Shikha Kumar

My penis size is 5 inches. Will it satisfy my wife? (Sex query of the ...21 Sep 2013

Recently, photos of celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being manhandled by her husband at a posh London restaurant went viral. A day later, her husband, the advertising baron Charles Saatchi, dismissed the episode, calling it a 'playful tiff', saying that he and his wife were arguing about their children.

While Saatchi eventually accepted a caution for the assault from the police, photographs of a teary-eyed Lawson revealed that this was not just a 'playful tiff'. But the fact that Lawson chose to stay silent on the incident fuelled debates of whether the celebrity chef, like countless women across the world, was a silent sufferer of domestic abuse.

The outrage that followed the incident saw an Australian RJ urging readers of her blog to boycott Lawson's books until she took a stand against domestic violence.

But that is easier said than done, say experts.

'Who are we to condemn someone for a bad marriage?' says Varkha Chulani, psychologist and psychotherapist.

It's common to assume that a successful and financially independent woman will have no problem walking out on a husband who abuses her. After all, aren't women who have no safety net in the form of a job or parental support the ones who traditionally stay in abusive relationships?

Wrong.

'No one can gauge the mindset of a person who takes abuse. The truth is that a woman often measures her success in life by her family and relationships, which has nothing to do with financial independence,' stresses Chulani.

Society has led women to believe that they are nothing without a man, and it's this theory that women subscribe to. This is why many financially independent women stay on in abusive marriages, she says.

It's evident in the case of Priya Nair* (see box), a lawyer who (ironically) also works in the area of women's rights. She has been in an abusive marriage for six years and has no plans to walk out at least in the near future. The reason? Her daughter.

Psychologist Seema Hingorrany says that separation from a spouse brings with it a social stigma and this can be a big reason why women don't walk out. Sometimes, there may be other issues involved like emotional upheavals experienced during childhood or history. For example, sometimes the woman comes from a broken home herself and doesn't want to repeat the pattern (as in Nair's case).

No matter what, it's never healthy to stay in such relationships, say the experts.

'Abused women start harbouring negative beliefs about themselves,' says Hingorrany. Things can get worse if this ebb in self-belief transfers to their professional sphere because then the women start questioning their abilities. 

Violence never stops

Filmmaker and author Rinki Bhattacharya, who walked out of her marriage following abuse in 1982, and has worked closely with victims of domestic violence from all strata of society ever since, says many women do not separate from their partners due to fear of retribution and of losing their children.

Char Diwari, a documentary film that Bhattacharya directed, exposes the abuse suffered by financially independent women at the hands of their educated spouses.

She quotes a scene from her film where on being told that a man lashed out due to 'frustration', activist-lawyer Flavia Agnes says, 'frustration mein friend ko kyun nahi maarta?'

'Violence happens because a man wants to silence or control the woman and he knows that she will take it. It's not just a sudden outburst of anger,' Bhattacharya says.

The tough road ahead

Both Hingorrany and Chulani do not 'advise' clients who are at the receiving end of domestic abuse. Their job is to give therapy, like asking such women to question their ideologies.

'I ask the victim if health and happiness is her ultimate goal and what are her attitudinal blocks that allow dominance and bullying,' says Chulani. Once the outlook is targeted, changes in behaviour are possible and the victim can reconsider her options.

Hingorrany introduces her clients to the concept of Boundary Management in which women are taught how to develop assertive skills to help themselves. Learning that violence will only increase and never stop is one of the first steps towards acceptance for an abused woman, financially independent or not. 'It's a very morbid situation. A woman should react the first time abuse happens and leave that very moment,' says Bhattacharya. (Read: Are fights ruining your relationship?)

First person

My husband and I dated for five years before we got married. Today, we have a six-year-old daughter and I have been a victim of abuse for almost seven years. The first time he hit me was a couple of months after we got married. His parents used to live with us and on this occasion, my father-in-law was not in town so my husband asked me to sleep with his mother. When I refused, he slapped me hard across my face. I was too shocked to react. The violence then became a regular occurrence over time. He did not have a stable job while I did and this probably frustrated him. He even lashed out at me a couple of times when I was pregnant.

 When the violence got out of control, I left the house with my daughter, who was a toddler then, and went to live with my father. My husband promised that he would never raise his hand at me again. I returned and he stuck to his promise, but just for a year and half. Last year, he hit me on our daughter's birthday. I went to the police to lodge a complaint but he tried to turn the tables on me by saying that I was harassing him. The issue died down.

 I'm a lawyer and I work for human rights so the situation was doubly difficult for me as I felt weak and helpless. People wonder why I don't walk out – it's only because of my daughter. I'm from a broken house and my mother left me when I was a year old. When my daughter is old enough to understand, I may separate from him but I will not take legal action against him. I will just move out.
—Priya Nair (name changed)

Source: DNA

For more articles on diseases and conditions, check out our diseases & conditions section and for videos, check out our YouTube Channel. 

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